Coming home into yourself is even possible if you don't have a house

'What a delightful house we have.' After three weeks of vacation, a wave of gratitude passes through me as I step into my living room. For me, besides the adventure and relaxation of traveling, coming home to your own familiar place is also part of vacation. 

But when I slowly wake up the next morning in my own bed, I suddenly see it again. Groups of refugees along the edge of the forest near the border of Europe, where we were passing by in the twilight and drizzling rain on our way to a wedding in Serbia. They no longer have a home, and after weeks of walking in search of a safe bed, they encounter high fences and barbed wires at this border. 

Like a balloon you stick a needle into, this image snaps my happy vacation bubble. More scenes of misery flash through me. Of refugees, oppressed women, the homeless, victims of domestic violence, status holders awaiting a home for years, people with real hunger, young children missing their parents, adult children for whom there is simply no home available. 

All this misery, far away and nearby, swirls through me like confetti and there is little left of my happy feeling last night. I now feel mostly sadness, helplessness and shame. Shame that the world I am a part of looks like this. Sadness that my children barely realize how good our lives are. Powerlessness, in which I wonder what I can contribute from my position of luxury to ease the suffering of others. 

'What do you want?' I ask two different coachees a few days later. Three simple words, but for many people it is oh so difficult to find the answer. Often expectations of others can be heard in it. Parents who want you to go to university, the boss who expects you to return to your current job. 'Hello it's your life, what do you want?" I joke regularly at these times. They may seem like luxury problems, but they both have been missing the happy feeling of coming home for a while, I help them to discover that again in their selves.

After these conversations, I realize that I have no magical ability to create houses, but that there is also a homecoming within yourself, by knowing and feeling what you want, what you need to be happy. There is indeed something I can contribute: I can explain to refugees, social workers and teachers what trauma does to a body. I can guide them to come out of their survival mode, to let their irritatingly ringing internal alarm bell dare to become silent more often. To experience peace, confidence and control again, so that nightmares make way for dreams.  To let them come home to themselves so they too can think about what they really want.

Unfortunately, many institutions have lead doors and I can hardly just walk into a shelter with the words 'here I am'. So I hereby call out for your help.

Because this is what I want to do and what I am good at. Can you open a door for me as a (voluntary) professional to mean something for refugees? Then I would like to hear from you. You can reach me at 06-12583916 or info@mind-act.nl.