Being the Lead Character in Your Own Movie

That’s me, after coming a long way! After spending too long rushing around and running for others, surviving on willpower, no time for myself while completely exhausting myself to serve the needs of others, I reinvented myself about 15 years ago. Today, I play the lead role and call the shots in the movie of my life, instead of playing supporting roles in so many other people’s movies. I’m happy, and there’s plenty happening to keep things exciting, just like in a good movie.

How did I land the lead role?

By repeatedly putting one question centre stage: “What do I really want?” An apparently simple question, but finding the answers isn’t easy. Only I can do that for myself, but that doesn’t mean I have to do it alone. Through conversations with others, reading, experimenting, experiencing life and listening to my head, heart and intuition, I pick up insights that help me move forward, like cherries from a cake.

Believe me, that’s the easy part.

Because once I can clearly see and feel what I really want to get out of life, I have no choice but to make decisions that bring a plot twist to my life story. It takes courage and self-confidence to listen to myself more than to others, to disappoint people and to keep trusting myself. But what I get in return is a life that feels right for me. Simply being myself, wherever I am and whatever I do.

How do I create a script that works for me?

Creating and doing lots of different things at once give me energy, as long as I’m focusing on what’s right for me. Here are a few cherries from my cake that help me create a script full of meaning:

• I guide myself and others towards consciously experiencing happiness and success. Everything I do, both personally and professionally, aligns with this purpose in life. Putting myself first in this process is absolutely not selfish. How else can I lead by example?
   
• “If you love somebody, set them free.” (Sting) For Goran and me — my prince, who came along on his own white horse when I met him at 18 — this means enjoying our time together while also following our hearts when it comes to our individual passions. I love travelling far and wide; he doesn’t. So I travel to Tokyo with our daughter and to the Caribbean for work. He prefers exploring Europe by motorbike, and I’m not one for riding pillion.
   
• I only do things that give me more energy than they cost me. If I fall asleep on the sofa in the evening, I ask myself what went wrong that day and make adjustments. Consciously checking in with my energy levels and how happy I feel has become a habit. And if a project, friendship or hobby no longer gives me what it once did, I don’t hesitate to walk away.
   
• I’m happy when I let my intuition guide me and give love. So that’s what I do, always and everywhere! This powerful sentence emerged from a special exercise I recently did during Being on Mission 2.0, guided by Mark McGregor, one of my coaches. And yes, I give plenty of love in a professional setting too; it just looks a little different from the way it does at home.

Feel free to steal a cherry from my cake. I love sharing, and strangely enough, they never seem to run out.

Is it a feel-good movie?

Yes! I’m deeply happy and proud of what I’ve put out into the world. Two children in their twenties finding their own way, a lovely home, a business that provides me with enough money, freedom and energy, a very personal book, and the latest addition: my own game, which will be launched soon.

And no, it’s still a journey, and it’s never finished. My game is coming out in two weeks, but I didn’t create it just for myself. So how do I let the world know it exists? I can certainly promote it, but doing so through sheer willpower costs me more energy than it gives me in return.

Cliffhanger!

That’s a sneak preview of who I am today. I do a lot, but only what feels right to me. Of course, I listen to others, but I no longer let myself be talked into all sorts of things. It’s my life, I decide the plot, and I play the lead role in my own movie.

I genuinely have no idea what the next chapter will look like. Or rather, all sorts of new ideas are already floating around in my head, tempting me to create something new.

A children’s bedtime storybook about self-leadership, something you can read to your child before they go to sleep to encourage both them and yourself to do what makes you happy. A book that teachers could use to spark meaningful circle-time discussions, with experiments as teaching methods to introduce children to self-leadership from an early age.
Or a book for leaders called Together, about leaders and followers, as a follow-up to Z11 — packed with inspiration, practical explanations, interesting facts and experiments.
Or perhaps that TED Talk in 2027 after all?

My desire to have more empty space in my days and weeks also needs to become a reality. Space for a spontaneous walk with a friend, a coffee at the local café, a glass of wine with a neighbour, or a morning when I don’t need an alarm clock while it’s still dark outside. Or an entire day when I don’t have to leave the house at all: a day to write, potter about or read a book in peace and quiet. That’s happiness to me, too!

So my struggle — and perhaps yours as well — is to enjoy what is while continuing to make conscious choices about what else I take on. By continually asking myself that one question: “What do I really want?”

 

This is a true, personal story, written to inspire you — not a story generated by AI, no tricks or gimmicks, just words straight from the heart.

Curious to see the rest of this movie? Follow me on LinkedIn.
Looking for a coach to help you create a plot twist in your own life? Feel free to get in touch.
Because you have to do it yourself, but you don’t have to do it alone.

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